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Sometimes you lose yourself as you get pulled along;
Where is there such a thing as smooth life.
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Monday, January 11, 2010
weekend.  I had sleepless weekend. Went AYAH KAYA's family chalet on Saturday and overnight. Didn't sleep though. I followed UL and cousins for karaoke session. Headed back to the chalet at 5am. And MONSTER was supposed to "angkat barang pindah" at 730am but end up after we travelled back to the west side, tak jadi angkat. Neneh. We went home, BROTHER straight went to bed while I quickly finished up my UFC project sent to UNNIE cause I scared that I could not make it to SOSIS meetup at HANA's. So went back chalet at noon, fetched UL's family, lunch at Tampines, sent AJIL off to his soccer match at Beatty and headed Teban. Met SOSIS straight while MONSTER waited for me at BLK 5. I swear I was sleepy but couldn't sleep so I was talking nonsense all the way. Great day with SOSIS plus AUNI and INA. UNNIE was the person of the day. UNNIE, you make my january sparkling! weeeheeee! I badly need your bad romance. If only you could understand how I feel. I understand that I can't be the way you want me to be. Now, he makes your dream come true. I know you're happy for him. Too happy. Very happy. I know where I stand here. I'm just a girl with many dreams but there's too many barriers. I know he's your favourite, I feel it. I see it. But please, don't stop me from chasing my dreams, live my life. Cause I'm not LIKE HIM. I pray that one day, you'll realise what I am good at. One day............................ For now, I'll be your "punching bag". Who am I to stop all your sayings, your doings. Like I say, I know where I stand. People like me don't deserve to be heard. Don't worry, I'll still be there for you if you need someone to scold or shout at. I know I did many wrong things. I know sometimes I do things w/o thinking what is right and what is wrong. I do things w/o thinking it will hurt your feeling. But there are things, IMPORTANT things, that I didn't do just to avoid you getting hurt Dreams that I should have fulfilled. To you, everything I do is nothing. Sometimes I wonder, do you even notice that I was there for you everytime? People might say the saying, "I live with a fake smile" is cliche or nonsense. But it happens. Sometimes you just have to breakdown cause your life is surrounded by lies. Lie to everyone and sadly, LIE TO YOURSELF. I may not be a good person but I know that God will be with everyone who go through their lives sincerely and patiently. |
